A Post about Finding Humor in the Gross

Hey, y’all! I’m back! So it’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything, but I was really struggling with the fact that I feel like I need to have a strong theme with my blog. Now I have lots of opinions on anything and everything, but I need something cohesive to attract a regular reader. Well, if I’m going to write about what I know, right now what I know is motherhood. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the funny. So hopefully you aren’t saying to yourself, oh no, not another mommy blogger! I know some of my handful of readers are probably not mothers, but I encourage you to stay reading as I try to hit my goal of being mildly amusing for all.

So let me start off by saying that I am a mom of two girls, oldest is 2 1/2 years old and the youngest is 7 months. I’ll call the oldest “Nugget” and the little one “Coco”, since those are also their nicknames IRL (oohh, I feel so millennial saying “IRL”). When I first had Coco, I was scared to death of going anywhere with the two of them on my own. How in the world would I manage a newborn and a crazy toddler loose? I didn’t even know how I would manage getting them down the street to the babysitter’s by myself. Now, it’s old hat. I’ve taken them to the super store, the grocery store, the mommy store (Target), and even to a very active kids’ music class. I can’t say I’ve braved the park yet though, but we’ll save that adventure for later. I really feel like I deserve some sort of medal for this new achievement level, but I know the medals are saved for the moms with 3 or more kids. Now they have some serious juggling skills! I’m sure my newfound confidence is due to Coco being less of a newborn and practice making perfect, but I can now laugh about how I was scared to death to leave the house with two children, and how now I can’t wait to get them out and go somewhere.

Well, I may have gotten a little too cocky with my managing two kids on my own skills. Yesterday I decided to take the two of them to Target after I picked them up from the babysitter’s because I had acquired a $17 coupon for Similac that expired that day. Anyone that has to supplement or use formula knows that a coupon like that is pure gold, so I had to go. I strap Coco into her Baby Bjorn (a carrier is a MUST for managing 2 kids), while Nugget insists that she can walk like a big girl and doesn’t need to ride in the “trolly”. For those of you that don’t watch enough Peppa Pig episodes to pick up on British terms, she means a cart. Ok, what the hell, I’ll give Nugget some freedom and let her walk if she promises to hold my hand and stay near by.

Yeah, so of course she runs off, and of course she tries to open every container of sunscreen she comes across, to be expected. Here comes the doozy though. Nugget is potty training, and instead of telling me she has to go potty, I notice a nugget size form poking out of her leggings that doesn’t smell too pretty. Ugh, she pooped her pull-up in Target, while walking around, when I didn’t have her diaper bag to change her, since I came straight from the sitter’s, and this was suppose to be a quick trip (like Target ever is a quick trip).

So I am dying of embarrassment cause she is walking around with an outline of a turd shape that you can see through her leggings. People had to know what that was, and if they couldn’t identify it by shape, then I am sure they could by smell. Sigh, this is my life now, people, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I hope you stick around and read about it with me.

Much love, Mama Michelle


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